I’ve always enjoyed reading “year in review” pieces. Probably because things happen so swiftly in my world, that I literally forget all of the things that happen in a year. I find myself saying “I can’t believe that happened THIS year…it feels like 5 years ago.”
Anyway, I love yearly recaps, so I decided to write my own. My readers know that if I offer anything, it is an opinion, and this post is no different. My plan is not to write a synopsis of the actual event – if you would like to refresh your memory on the facts themselves, please Google the event – but rather to give you folks a glimpse of the opinions that my brain formed on each of these topics.
Month by Month….here we go.
JANUARY
- Obama Inauguration: Congrats. Very surprised you won again, considering our out of control trainwreck of a federal deficit. In hindsight, the GOP just could not get behind Romney, and the Tea Party stole some votes. I liked Mitt, but then again, I have no problem with people being successful. The $10 million net worth beat the $250 million net worth. And, like I said, the stock market didn’t care who won.
- Lance Armstrong Mea Culpa: Oprah, I am glad you made yourself a trillion dollars, because this venture known as OWN is a joke. People have always loved you for you, and yet you started a network that you are never on…named in OWN, and it has struggled mightily. Sorry, this one is about Lance. I don’t really care if athletes use steroids. It is an entertainment business, and I want my <insert sport> players bigger, faster, meaner because it makes for a better game. Don’t believe me…go back and watch a college football game from the 1980′s. The linemen weighed 240. Lance cheated, and he lied. To me, it was an even playing field because everyone else he raced against did the same thing. So much so that the TdF has had a hard time awarding Lance’s wins to anyone because the top 10 finishers over those years all doped. Him using doesn’t bother me…him lying about it does. Also, his arrogant attitude has always been a turn off for me. He got what he deserved, but he is still the best cyclist of all time in my opinion. If they had all ridden clean, he still wins 7 TdF titles. But, it makes us feel better to ostracize him as a pariah, so go ahead America…
- Fiscal Cliff Deal: This was a cluster. We all knew you bozos would waste time, scare everyone, and then kick the can down the road, which is exactly what you did. Thank you for wasting time, and next election, I will try to give you plenty of free time by voting you out. Idiots.
FEBRUARY
- ARGO dominates the Oscars: Ehh, good movie, but not great in my opinion. If it wasn’t based on a true story, it doesn’t win. Two movies were better: Django Unchained and Silver Linings Playbook. My choice would have been Tarantino’s Django, but then again, I am Quentin Tarantino sucker…
- Dennis Rodman & Kim Jong-un sitting in a tree: Annoying. Dennis, if you love North Korea so much, move there. I am sure they still have plots of land available. We won’t miss you.
- USPS stops Saturday delivery: Yawn. They lost $16 billion in 2012, and this move saves them $2 billion, so now they will only lose $14 billion. Why not just close the doors and outsource all shipping to FedEx and UPS? That would be a story…
- “All-Time High”: Dow crossed 14k and I started to hear this phrase. This is also the time when every retail investor I know started to tell me that the market was too high and was going to crash. Dow Jones, as of this article, sits at 16,500. Ya’ll were only 18% wrong (thus far)!
- Pope Benedict XVI resigns: I am not Catholic, but do recognize that this was a big deal. He was elderly and resigned “because of advanced age.” I am sure the 1.2 billion Catholics can choose another Pope.
- Harbaugh Bowl: This was fun. I cannot even imagine the bragging rights that are involved with beating a family member IN THE SUPER BOWL. Wow….poor Jim.
MARCH
- Cyprus Bank Robbery: Is Cyprus a country? Anyways…they took 10% of peoples’ bank accounts. Apparently, the Russian mob accounts for many of the accounts involved. Wow. Lets put it this way – IF I were going to steal money from someone’s bank account, I would make certain that it was not a Russian Mafia member’s account. I imagine that was a long night for the Bank President.
- Pope Francis elected: Huge ceremony. A big deal…but like I said, I am not Catholic.
- Child born with HIV cured: History. Earth-shattering, and yet, I saw very little on the news about it. They’d much rather report a shooting somewhere….. “If it bleeds, it leads.”
- Leg Shatter #1: My Duke Blue Devils got run out of the gym by the eventual NCAA champion Louisville Cardinal, but what I remember was Kevin Ware destroying his leg in this regional final game.
APRIL
- Boston Marathon Bombing: Tragic. Why do people do these types of things? The picture of the two brothers with the backpack standing near the family….still gives me chills. These people deserve an eternity of horror…and yet, Rolling Stone puts one of them on their cover. I never have been a RS reader, but if I were, it would have stopped after this.
- Roger Ebert dies: My fave movie guy passes away. Ebert was the best, and I always agreed more with him than with Siskel. I admire how Roger never hid from his illness….remaining in the public eye, living his every day life. The man lost his jaw and ability to speak, yet still reviewed more than 200 movies per year! Inspirational.
- Margaret Thatcher passes: A lady I wish I knew more about. Truly remarkable woman. David Cameron said it best: “Lady Thatcher didn’t just lead our country, she saved our country.”
MAY
- Jolie’s Assets: Angelina Jolie chose to have a double mastectomy in a preventative move. Her mother died of breast cancer, and she didn’t want to travel that same path. A bold move. Hollywood star, wealthy….she has made million on her looks, and to take this plunge – it took guts. Good for you, Angie. Vanity died a little today.
- Chemical weapons in Syria: Video evidence that someone used chemical weapons on dozens of people in Syria. If you haven’t seen the video, I would not recommend it. People gasping for air as they suffocate…. I remember the big argument of should we or shouldn’t we (US get involved). For the record, I was in favor of us getting involved. Turns out we didn’t have to.
- FREEDOM!: 3 women were enslaved underneath a home near Cleveland, OH. They were raped multiple times and kept chained up over a course of 10 years. A neighbor heard one of them, and helped her. Later, the main culprit hung himself in prison. Seems like an easy way to exit….the evil inside some people never ceases to startle me.
JUNE
- Tony Soprano dead: James Gandolfini, who played Tony Soprano, passed away. My single favorite TV show of all time was The Sopranos, and while I realize that James was simply acting, to me he literally WAS Tony Soprano. Nobody else will ever be able to recreate that character.
- Paula Deen ordeal: This was not surprising to me. She caught a lot of backlash for some racist comments, as she should have. They were awful. My thought is this: will this REALLY end her career or will people forget in 3-5 years and pave the way for her to comeback. I can name dozens of people who’s “careers were over” that we now sort of forget what they even did. Kobe, Tyson, Tiger Woods, Woody Allen, Bill Clinton, Martha Stewart, Marv Albert….ok, I will stop. Those are mostly men, but there are plenty of females as well. I say Paula Deen isn’t done. She will return somewhere in 3-4 years and American will forget. Hope I’m wrong.
- Men’s Wearhouse fired the “man”: How does a company oust the founder of the company? That is cruel. However, this isn’t the first time. Apple with Jobs, Yahoo, JetBlue all did it. I hope he starts a rival clothing company and cleans MW’s clock.
- Gold tanks: The price of Gold falls under $1200/ounce after beginning the year around 1,600. Again, retail told me that Gold would go up forever. Minus 25 percent says otherwise…
JULY
- Royal Baby: I have an issue with this. Not the baby. The Royal part. WHY is there a Royal family to begin with? I asked dozens of people in the UK this question a decade ago: ”If Parliament makes the decisions, and Cameron is the PM, what role does the ‘Royal Family’ play?” All of them essentially told me that they played no role and were only figureheads. Don’t hate me…I didn’t say it, they did. But seriously, why is family (A) royal and family (B) isn’t? There is no such thing as a Royal Family to me, so therefore, this little baby, is the same as my neighbor’s son.
- Murray wins Wimbledon: Andy Murray ends Red Sox-type drought….77 years and never a Brit champ until now. Great job!
- Zimmerman Acquittal: Controversy, rioting, looting….. I don’t pretend to know the answer here, but I do know that rioting isn’t it.
- Detroit Bankrupt: The average home in Detroit was listed for $21,000 as of 2012. Hmm…ok, not a shock that they are bankrupt.
AUGUST
- S&P tops 1,700: Another “all-time high.”
- Miley Twerks: What an embarrassment. If that were my daughter, I would….well, I would probably look like Billy Ray Cyrus.
- Prez says “Area 51″: Obama basically admits that Area 51 exists, which immediately prompts 103 thousand rednecks in the south to say “See Clete!!?? I told ya it wuz RHEE-YUL.”
SEPTEMBER
- Breaking Bad finale: The single greatest TV series finale ever written, filmed, and produced. Name a better one. The Sopranos, Seinfeld, Friends, ER, etc…..they all come up short of BB’s ending. The legend of Heisenberg lives on!
- Grand Theft Auto 5: This video game sold $800 million on DAY ONE. Look up the game….that should speak volumes to you about the state of humanity these days…perhaps it leads to things like…..
- Navy Yard Shooting: Wow. Why? Another horrific tragedy.
- Exit Sandman: Mo Rivera, the greatest pitcher the game of baseball has ever seen, officially retired. One of the happiest/saddest days of my sports life. Sad to see him go, happy I got to see him play. What a role model.
OCTOBER
- Syria backs down: They destroyed chemical production facilities, so we never needed to step in. Thank God.
- Government Shutdown: They fired themselves, sort of. Congress has become a laughing stock. What I remember is that one Senator (from SC) donated his salary during the shutdown, and people complained about how much money he was making. It annualized at 71k per year…the average HH income is 50k per year. Those are close, people! How much SHOULD a Congressman make? The story should have been “why didn’t the other 534 members of Congress donate their salary?”
- Clancy gone: Tom Clancy, author of Hunt For Red October, Clear and Present Danger, Patriot Games, Sum of All Fears, etc…..died. My favorite author of all time. Many of these became amazing movies.
- Heinz Out: McDonald’s must have lost it’s taste buds….they kicked out Heinz ketchup. The other choices cannot even be in the same category as Heinz. There is Heinz, and then there is everyone else. Please don’t come at me with this weak “Hunts” or “Del Monte” garbage, either! I am serious about my ketchup.
NOVEMBER
- Levine wins “Sexiest Man Alive”: He is 4’8” and 102 lbs…does he really qualify as a “man?”
- BlockBusted: BlockBuster video was a staple of my childhood, and now they are gone. No more VHS rentals.
- “I’ll drink to that!”: Applebee’s offered free alcohol to military and veterans on Veterans Day. The company lost $6 billion on that day, and then had to declare bankruptcy. Lesson: our armed forces can drink your armed forces under the table!
- Charles Manson marries 25 year old: IT IS A MAN’S WORLD. The dude is a serial killer, will die in prison (as he should), and yet at 79 years old can STILL close a 25 year old wife. Honey, you may be desperate, but dang!!
- Twitter IPO: There isn’t a bigger fan of Twitter than yours truly. Twitter is a better company than Facebook, so it is no surprise that the IPO was handled better as well.
DECEMBER
- Nelson Mandela expires: Again, another figure I wish I knew more about. From what little I do know, he changed the world. Literally. At least he was blessed with a long life, as he passed at 95 years old. R.I.P.
- RE-RUNS: I have seen this movie before…. Yet another “all-time high” for the Dow, as it crosses 16,500 intraday on 12/30.
- The Wolf of Wall Street: This is a prediction…..Leo wins his first Oscar. Best Actor.
- Leg Shatter #2: Anderson Silva, who many believe is the best MMA fighter of all time, shatters his leg when Chris Weidman checked his low kick. This was Theismanesque.
Well, that’s all folks. Phenomenal year. It’s Been Real. See you in 2014.
MG
